• Mistress Mera

Sub Drop and Paraphillic Drop

As a result of television/cinema and porn the kink scene has expanded and vanilla peeps started to experiment. Sales of fetish toys increased and it became more 'acceptable’ to practise BDSM at home. You may have arrived home to find your girlfriend with a set of handcuffs and a blindfold! Online porn is so accessible that people are moving away from regular missionary sex and exploring their sexual kinky desires whether that be strap-on, foot fetish, ass worship to ball busting. More people are discovering their kinky side and wanting to explore it. If you have a particular fetish, I know for sure you have been thinking of it for a while and the thought of it will turn you on more than anything else.

This urge may prompt subs to consider seeing a Pro-Domme to explore their desires. But have you ever wondered how you might feel after your first BDSM session or alternatively, have you had a session and then experienced strong feelings which are at odds as to how great you felt during the session? Do you feel guilty even thinking about your kink? Did you feel confused or low in mood?

What I am referring to is this blog is the ‘DROP.’ It is technically a two pronged concept namely the 1) Sub Drop and 2) ’Paraphilic’ Drop. I will consider each separately below.

Whilst the majority of my subs skip away with big smile, recently I have had two separate occasions where following an amazing session, my new sub was overcome with emotions. This has lead me into write this blog.

This biog is for new and experienced subs alike, as both may experience one or both drops at the same time. The ‘drop’ could occur after a session with a Mistress or at home with a partner. It is not age, gender (though I will refer to it in the masculine) or kink specific. It could on occasion affect the person who tops as well as a sub after a particularly intense session.

A good session is mean’t to blow your mind right! That intense adrenaline and fulfilled fantasy high however does occasionally leave some of you little puppies feeling the blues.

Please be clear that NOT everyone will experience either drop, so do NOT let this information put you off. You are more likely to leave feeling amazing and stay the way until your next session. This is specifically for those of you have/do experience the drop, to help you to make sense of your feelings and know that it will soon pass. So let me explain the drops in more detail….


This is also known as “the guilts” and relates to the situation where a sub feels guilty or ashamed of his kink (deriving from Paraphilia which describes the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations or individuals). The types of emotions a sub is likely to feel are not the same as the endorphin drop (below) but feelings of guilt/shame/depression/confusion.

An example of this is a brilliant session I had recently with a new sub for his very first session. There was great chemistry and it was very horny. It was obvious to me how much my sub was enjoying the session. However, as soon as the session was over he immediately questioned what he was doing and couldn’t get dressed and out of the dungeon fast enough! Another example, is a sub with whom I have been having sessions with for a while, who gets so horny over his particular fetish that it is the only thing that really gets him hard. However, soon as the session is over, he feels ashamed of himself and swears that that is the last time - it never is.

These subs feel almost disgusted in themselves, worry what other people (family/friends) would think of them if exposed and genuinely consider themselves abnormal - causing them to feel temporarily ashamed and question their sexuality/morals/mental health.

There could also be a heavy feeling of guilty if the sub is married/has a partner. Many subs in relationships feel unable to discuss their kink with their partner or if they have plucked up the courage to do talk, their partner does not understand it or want to participate in it. Meeting a Mistress or other person becomes the only option.

The feelings will disappear within a day/week and the desire will return.