As a result of television/cinema and porn the kink scene has expanded and vanilla peeps started to experiment. Sales of fetish toys increased and it became more 'acceptable’ to practise BDSM at home. You may have arrived home to find your girlfriend with a set of handcuffs and a blindfold! Online porn is so accessible that people are moving away from regular missionary sex and exploring their sexual kinky desires whether that be strap-on, foot fetish, ass worship to ball busting. More people are discovering their kinky side and wanting to explore it. If you have a particular fetish, I know for sure you have been thinking of it for a while and the thought of it will turn you on more than anything else.
This urge may prompt subs to consider seeing a Pro-Domme to explore their desires. But have you ever wondered how you might feel after your first BDSM session or alternatively, have you had a session and then experienced strong feelings which are at odds as to how great you felt during the session? Do you feel guilty even thinking about your kink? Did you feel confused or low in mood?
What I am referring to is this blog is the ‘DROP.’ It is technically a two pronged concept namely the 1) Sub Drop and 2) ’Paraphilic’ Drop. I will consider each separately below.
Whilst the majority of my subs skip away with big smile, recently I have had two separate occasions where following an amazing session, my new sub was overcome with emotions. This has lead me into write this blog.
This biog is for new and experienced subs alike, as both may experience one or both drops at the same time. The ‘drop’ could occur after a session with a Mistress or at home with a partner. It is not age, gender (though I will refer to it in the masculine) or kink specific. It could on occasion affect the person who tops as well as a sub after a particularly intense session.
A good session is mean’t to blow your mind right! That intense adrenaline and fulfilled fantasy high however does occasionally leave some of you little puppies feeling the blues.
Please be clear that NOT everyone will experience either drop, so do NOT let this information put you off. You are more likely to leave feeling amazing and stay the way until your next session. This is specifically for those of you have/do experience the drop, to help you to make sense of your feelings and know that it will soon pass. So let me explain the drops in more detail….
This is also known as “the guilts” and relates to the situation where a sub feels guilty or ashamed of his kink (deriving from Paraphilia which describes the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations or individuals). The types of emotions a sub is likely to feel are not the same as the endorphin drop (below) but feelings of guilt/shame/depression/confusion.
An example of this is a brilliant session I had recently with a new sub for his very first session. There was great chemistry and it was very horny. It was obvious to me how much my sub was enjoying the session. However, as soon as the session was over he immediately questioned what he was doing and couldn’t get dressed and out of the dungeon fast enough! Another example, is a sub with whom I have been having sessions with for a while, who gets so horny over his particular fetish that it is the only thing that really gets him hard. However, soon as the session is over, he feels ashamed of himself and swears that that is the last time - it never is.
These subs feel almost disgusted in themselves, worry what other people (family/friends) would think of them if exposed and genuinely consider themselves abnormal - causing them to feel temporarily ashamed and question their sexuality/morals/mental health.
There could also be a heavy feeling of guilty if the sub is married/has a partner. Many subs in relationships feel unable to discuss their kink with their partner or if they have plucked up the courage to do talk, their partner does not understand it or want to participate in it. Meeting a Mistress or other person becomes the only option.
The feelings will disappear within a day/week and the desire will return.
The solution is really about being confident and accepting your sexual desires, embracing and realising there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Remember:-
The session is confidential between you and your Mistress.
Your feelings of shame/guilt are an irrational emotional response due to denying/suppressing your kink.
No one has been harmed physically (except by consent).
You have done nothing wrong.
Being kinky is good - in fact it makes you more interesting.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Sub-Drop is probably the most common emotional response and could be experienced after a very intense session..wow! It is caused as a result of the endorphins and adrenaline crashing, after spiking during the session resulting the sub experiencing emotions similar to depression for 24-72 hours. This drop is also referred to ‘The Mondays’. Again this is not age, kink or gender specific and could occur to novice and very experienced subs (you could compare it to a lot of situations where there is a high followed by a low - post holiday blues/post celebration blues).
An example of this is a sub of mine who, whilst he had been in the fetish scene for many years, had never experienced a dungeon session. The session was intense and he left on a high. However for the following few days he experienced such strong emotions for the first time which he struggled to comprehend . After he called me I agreed to meet for a coffee and to talk over his feelings. He now recognises when he is experiencing the sub drop and takes steps nurture himself.
The sub could experience various symptoms that would accompany depression - difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, loss of appetite, insomnia, loss of interest in other activities. Thoughts of the session may be all
Insomnia/waking early. Further symptoms could include:-
I can't repeat enough - you most likely will not experience sub-drop at all, so don’t be worried and don’t be put off. Now you comprehend that it is a temporary chemical imbalance, you'll just have to see your Mistress sooner for your next
If you need to process how you feel, you could contact your Mistress who will help you put your feelings into perspective. Whilst your Mistress is strict and busy, she will be approachable and want to give you advice. My subs know that they are able contact me after a session. Particularly new subs, who may have never explored their kink or such an intense sexual experience.
Note - I am not a psychologist or medical professional. This information is from my own research. Please do some research yourself. Don’t confuse the drop with any other type of anxiety or mental illness. See your GP if you are feeling very depressed.
I hope this blog is helpful and informative.
You will have the best BDSM experience…so enjoy.
Feel free to message me with your comments and experiences. I would be interested to hear whether you have experienced the drop and how you managed.